Thursday, February 17, 2011

Nice Things To Put In Card

The courtiers of the Norway rat: Selections

The following is a selection of stories collected from members of the editorial, friends, acquaintances and flattering. The authors swear they are real and occurred in groups that they took. Published anonymously by all the respondents suffer from paranoia, psychotic outbreaks and narcolepsy, among other less popular. The choice of title of the column was arbitrary.




- "I like to sit in the back seats of the bus. Before I was more or less the same sit on either side but then I had a little incident. One day, for reasons I do not remember, I took a bus after eleven at night on a weekday. If you ever took a bus at that hour, you know that is almost empty, except for some dark beings that feel, defeated, scattered throughout the transport. That day I sat in a double seat on the side of the window, about half the workforce. A few stops after I posted, a tall, skinny, blond, cropped hair, wearing a dark blue jeans and a leather jacket sat in the seat that was directly behind mine. I had found something strange their gaze and wicked half-smile that drew on his face. However, do not pay much attention until I felt I was approaching the back of my seat and say the following words: "I slaughter, if you turn around you slaughter." I was shocked and of course, I did not return. I felt a deep fear at these words, was checked out to this man who, over the next ten blocks at regular intervals repeated his threat: "I slaughter, if you turn slaughter you," he said while I looked into force seat back in front of him. Finally got out and was relieved but since then I sit in the back seat to feel a little safer. "

- "During peak hours, the buses are full. Getting a seat is a matter of luck and generally be transferred to the elderly, pregnant women and others with weak or physical inferiority. Well, the truth is that one day had been distracted, thinking about the reasons why trees grow in spring and die in autumn, when I hear, by my side, an angry complaint: "there are no men," said a middle- age, indignant that no one gave up the seat to an elderly woman. She continued with its dialectic when I left my dream and told the woman: "Madam, excuse me, came distracted, sit." The old lady thanked me and the middle-aged woman was silent, somewhat embarrassed, Then I took my time and blurted out: "Now I can give my speech about those who seek the first opportunity to bring out their moral arrogance, to lecture on the lack of gallantry or I can not?". The woman said nothing and, frankly, I was a hero to silence one of these parasites in place of social guilt. "

- "Saturdays at half past six bus stops are usually full of drunken youths, some quiet, others elated, lovebirds, well-dressed, neat and rather unkempt, somewhat wrinkled, his eyes tired . This is mixed with people who will be working, humble people who do various combinations of bus, police, cleaning girls, among others. So, you can view images that, for someone who has altered mental faculties can be strange. The truth is that we were dancing with a friend and saw a man in ragged coat, beret, in her fifties, who came to the group with a bicycle wheel. He certainly had his reasons for doing so but to us, for some reason, it seemed very funny and we started to laugh like hyenas, for no reason. The man, somewhat dazed, she turned and looked at us, thinking we were only two drunks who laughed at something stupid. "

- "I live in a neighborhood in which girls feel more beautiful than they are and what you felt. Maybe that's why I was always shy with women. I never dare to speak, I get nervous, I always end up in a cabaret. Cabaret girls are not picky as you money. But this is not what I have. One late afternoon I had taken the bus to go home. I was quite full and had to travel standing. A couple of seats where I was, I saw a dark haired girl, about deep black eyes staring at me. Naturally, I thought it was my mistake, that she would be looking at another person or would be diving for their deep inner world. But a new look confirmed my suspicions: it beautiful, candida, I was watching and even smiled shyly. Take your eyes off him and I panicked. "I would be going crazy what if that was how I felt? What I was saying, as I approached? The doubts I consumed while the bus was going and my fate was approaching. What to do? She kept looking, now half sideways, concealing. I was just a block from my house, do not have much time. The last time I looked, I rang the bell and got off. When the group was down, I noticed that she looked out among the people of the group, looking for the last time my eyes. Never again saw her. I thought back to that journey, for if found again, but I did because I knew that I would not encourage talk. "

- "She left me at the door of the faculty on a rainy day. I walked to the bus stop, under a fine drizzle, persistent and annoying, but I did not mind getting wet. At the stop had two drunks sitting, taking a carton of red wine. A rather strange considering that it was twelve noon on a Wednesday. After a few minutes, the bus arrived and we got all three. Oddly, the micro was almost empty during the whole journey. Always towards that route at that time and was full. Only two drunks sitting in the front seats and I sat in one of the individual near the bottom. Was looking at the gray landscape of downtown, the day was very dark, the rain was particularly sad that afternoon. As the bus was empty, the driver stopped at a corner and went to make a phone call, leaving the two drunks and me, abandoned. One of the drunks had demanded something and, when the driver got out, sat behind the driver's seat and pretend he was driving, as he said to his companion: "Where do we go?". Both laughed, and repeated the situation two or three times until the driver returned, he asked the drunk to return to his place and continued his journey. So I thought it was all a farce, that she had abandoned me, it was seven in the morning on Sunday, returning to dance, that morning was Thursday. And I felt a little better. "

- "The City where I live decided to create a series of ecological groups. The description of these strange vehicles is as follows. The facade of the group, the interior and the seats are covered in love with the wall, plants should be carefully sprayed so it will not fill with bugs of all kinds. Handrails are stuffed bats, the first test was with live bats, but was too cumbersome, so they took the animals killed, the embalmed and hung from the ceiling pipes. Instead of ringing, there's a trained parrot that screams when somebody wants to drop and a short orangutan tickets, although it is clear that the driver is a man. The fare is cheaper, in contrast, is more expensive because it is more costly to maintain the vehicle. Also, use diesel fuel which pollutes the same as a collective non-organic. However, the people in charge of the municipality is happy because he believes it was well with environmentalists with little. "

- "I was returning from somewhere and was pretty tired. I sat beside the window, in a double seat. My companion was a skinny girl in curls and glasses, who seemed afraid of something unreal. Do not pay too much attention during the trip and not even when dropped. But the most interesting trip was not that. Shortly after I got home, a father in his thirties got out of the group with her son about two years. The driver, distracted, tired, started before the end to lose the baby, prompting anger from the father of logic who started an insult to the air after leaving the boy on the floor, started to run the mic, giving shots on the side. The driver stopped and calmly in the world, explained that he had not seen him as he apologized, while the father scolded him loudly attitude. And continued for several minutes. The strange thing is that all this, the boy was alone at the bus stop, watching his father played at being a superhero. So while the discussion is cooled, the father was and the driver resumed his journey, a question struck me: what would happen if the driver was breaking the "amansalocos" father in the head, what if the father was the one beaten the driver? What is the indelible mark that he got the baby face of all this?. But quickly, it certainly was and I kept looking at anything through the window. "

- "It was a winter afternoon in which he was to some side do not remember. He hoped the group sitting at the stop with his hands in his pockets. Came a little old, chubby, skinny arms. She was dressed in fine clothes much overlapping, as if afraid to feel cold. The oddest thing was a strange animal fur hat he had in his head. He sat next to me and smiled. He seemed nice.
- Did a micro?
he asked "No, no, when you pass notice.
-Pass can not see, baby.
"Oh, okay.
"Oh, when you come, tell me, yes, yes, I do not see much.
"Sure.
I kept quiet, not really too interested in talking to strangers. It is striking like most people feel the need to talk when is waiting somewhere. I do not understand this behavior. This lady, naturally, had this hobby.
"This hat I did," he said.
- Really?
"Everyone in my family want me out.
- Does your family loves hats?
-Because it is very warm.
It occurred to me saying "Why is it ugly?" But I was too. Is that the cap was horrible, looked like rat skin. The conversation continued in these ways, the old lady was very friendly and the conversation became a little shorter the waiting. But when the collective first lady rose, took a handful of dimes purse, turned and fitted to me without saying anything, if I wanted him to pull out the ticket. I was so surprised at the situation that I dropped some coins and later on put them all in the machine, before the inquisitive eyes of the passengers. I think what bothered me most was that I did not say anything, I had no problem getting the ticket, only had to ask. Take her ticket and mine, I reached into his seat and went fast to sit as far away from that woman. The funny thing is that the old lady was sitting on a double seat thinking, surely, that would escort the whole trip. From the bottom, I could see, the realize my rudeness, she sat in the high seat for the disabled. The little old lady looked like a rat with the aid of his small, skinny arms to get into that chair. I did not understand how I could be liked that woman. "

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