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Last heartbeat

"I always liked my name, I would have liked to call me otherwise"

You, to my final question.

During my last beat I had a smile median. She kept the will to resist this joke that my sleep pattern, or a nightmare caused by a dinner charged. Yes, it was false. I never really got into the ambulance, he would not have begged for help to hear the voices of the firefighters. I did not cover my ears to the strange screeching of tires, nor felt the swift maneuver before hitting the other car.

Apparently everything was distorted product of my brain activity, and it came in the spring, the dreams forced me to breathe not to mislead, perhaps my friend did not argue with me while driving, I was not crying and never broke the letters he never kept in my wallet. Unable to agree that image of him forcing me to give the driver's seat, I'm not sure I noticed the strength in my arms while trying to control my hysteria. Is cleared in my hands hit my anger on his face. In no time my screams followed by the patio.

I can confirm the absence of that place, bed, hugging, wet hair. That woman was not in our house, never saw, the saw, or discovered. How can be assured of a pain that I hang to the point of losing the feeling? Simply not born out of nowhere, the discomfort was false, and false were the groans and laughter on the second floor. The entrance gate was not open for me.

I could have gone to many places, visit the zoo of the city and start a couple of flowers that grew only remember allí.Tiemblo to believe he wanted to return home by the Central Highway, after receiving the order from my boss. I missed the break and the early exit from the flu that never presented. No, actually, I was sitting at my desk, or e-mail messages reviewed. Neither commented to Stephen and lived with the love of my life.

That morning had breakfast with him, and we make the morning ritual of washing, do not mention the phrase "good morning love." Was forward to that moment of relaxation after making love, they were fake the "I love you every night, caresses from the first day we went to live together.

not remembering all lived, sigh. No stimulate our dreams am talking about goals, travels, romances, and small talk. Not crossed my mind that it was unattainable, and he did not intend to protect the success or impulse to share with him. Much less called for me to listen to protest music on a Sunday afternoon, and reminded me his rebellious youth. I did not feel there is nobility in his heart.

I feel that our first date was the best example of a empty set, I was not myself, nor am I surprised at his determination, he invited me and did not know of my strength to live. I proposed to see us. There was no time to answer your calls because he did not performed them, never gave him my phone number, much less asked me.

our discussions not recorded by the courier, the ideological differences they found periods of peace, not hit it, and liked each one-minute pause.

Every second I have it more clear, no one had, it was unreal that moment when I registered as a participant at a convention of former students on the Internet, there was no such debate, or the invitation to participate, I never heard of the university since I graduated.

not met you, and I'm not dying. Nor has it that you do not breathe and cry.

someone woke me up in any room, hospital, hotel or pen, while your lovely wife is ready to take breakfast. No traces of me in your house of dreams, in your world for success. There was for you my dear love.

Played Gay Truth Or Dare

URMAT

My good friend, Angelita Evil

- And your mother? Asked during the break, while inviting him to his partner's lunch box cookies.
-
In his work - and why your dad did not come to closure?
- is because they are divorced, no longer lives with us, is in Trujillo, not enough time


Compassionate, looked at the Scottish skirt of her friend, felt the pain of divorce and thought the word without saying of course " Poor thing, it's never going to happen. " Her parents loved her so much that she suspected that the fights always calmed down when she entered with her braids, beautiful, embracing among the accessories that added all the love you gave her.

Before the unexpected separation, I felt like I'd never see a man, the image of his grieving mother and extended trips it, the more and more convinced that all happiness is crumbling at the moment you just perceive it. Trying to compensate for the worship of his old, with the deep anguish of missing who had deluded all children. "The only man whom I told you I want is my daddy," she commented that maybe that removal of the father figure, protector, had distorted the tenderness and love. That episode in her life would be the beginning of everything.


Well aware of the stories concerning her name, she did not hide his philosophy of life. Your name, present in film, literature, painting and other arts, contained the delicacy and sensuality of his feet ten. Angela for newcomers to their life, and Angie for that greeted the dawn. His smile gave him the glad girl immortal air nobody could never have. She knew every day was more attractive than the last. It was struggling

minute rush against the clock staffing, opening exaggerated their gypsy eyes, proved once again she was late for a bad night. The supervisor chastised his behavior as you would any other girl, but deep down suspected that he shared the anxiety of knowing at lunch the details of the drunken nights and early mornings of our black sheep. Angela would have won new touch this weekend, his gaze distracted, relaxed smile and announced another love we fell for her.

not imagine that the talk of the "nice guy, gentle and loving", the brown of her eyes shine until it becomes like honey. The man she loved more than the other two kissed the same night, "she always calls me" surprised we look, "But do not you hate for you guys called?" "Yes, you feel nothing for none", "Yes, that once you enjoy and do not want them to see." Cornered with our inquisition of sin, he smiled and turned to find. "Sure, do not say what you want, but I really like that anymore," highlighting the cheekbones with the look of your smile "In addition I am pleased with everything," the "What?!" Synchronized heard around the room, ask for details at lunch, away to provoke disgust, we expedites exquisitely digestion. Among a large group of married, a dry light is absorbed and experience it was carried away by the romance and passion that it caught our attention since it entered.

- Hello, I called to see how you were.
- Angela? ... oh, Happy Valentines Day!, wanted to call, but they said they do not like that.
- Happy day too. No problem if you call me.
- do it right, I will do it more often. One question: Why do you wear your messenger URMAT name?
"That's a secret that only my friends can tell, nothing more suitable for women.
- Haha, and I do not tell me? "I'm that special?
- You're just like the rest, what makes you special? - He silent, not knowing how to avoid the uncomfortable situation of facing a superior experience woman who had finally managed to haunt him, anything could make another call and disposal. The conversation ended after 30 seconds of released this question.

The young of both we have talked about something different, unknown, something I had not found in others. Smelled of true love, come into a being two years younger, maybe she was not the same mischievous girl who kissed the other's best friend at the same party. "I know I have my reputation, but I know how I feel and what I am, I give a damn what think of me. I do not care if it hurts or not see me with another, no one laughs at me, can not boast that I have searched or are in love, none can say that I have in their hands, "he once said.

Its appeal lay not just in her black hair, or extra long lashes, or the outline of his lips, the impression at parties was caused by the balanced set of his body and face, Mother Nature's glorious, pompous, their presence and seduction was calculated up to hair loss. Thorough, improved presentation in the type of watch he was wearing the heels, in underwear how diligently his mom bought. The who loved her remember her grasp, as the unattainable girl, never possessed, his heart was not anyone could give everything to everyone but a love manifest. Angie

wearing his candor with the savvy of a woman who does not measure the consequences. We did not doubt that beer in the deshinbía more nights of partying and destruction, but his speech did not change, we relied on it in the cold to accept and accept the world. We could not doubt what we confess.

Once Upon

different offices, a day when the truth broke out of his mouth, we noticed strange, and that afternoon at lunch, confirmed feared most:

-Girl, I think I'm in love!
- It was time
- Do not be it! "Tell the truth

- Seriously - fearing said the carnage, the butterfly effect, the sarcasm of those who knew anything about it - I'm in love!
- Yes, my friend, I believe you, but you told us what it meant your nik? The name of your messenger?, Tell us, what does URMAT
- because Angela already, tell us what it means URMAT

We returned a nervous smile, was useless to try to delay disclosure, our insistence erased the woman's face held by Cupid, sat back in his chair: "Okay, URMAT means, A Raya More at Tigre, is the description of my experiences." Shared laughter raised the heat on the table, looked as fresh thinking that, until one dared to say "Who says this guy is not just one of your stripes?". None of these responded, over lunch with some trivial and did not know what would have concluded it with this assertion.

was curious that his marriage had the highest attendance of friends to other weddings in the same locality. Nobody wanted to miss the final chapter of the first sensual princess fairy tales, how argumentative material companies have lost film, soap opera writers, editors of magazines for women. Our Angie is married, and it was no joke, no invention to change the topic. True to form, the pastor had to request that the veil covering her cleavage when the ceremony started. "Father, the dress is the problem, not me. There was in my size," smiled his beloved, young, wearing the promise of love with a girl indomitable. Envied, guarded, not to spoil it would spare the guests applauded when they saw even more from his new home.

The URMAT memorable, at last I can say, was in love. The lines do not ever be erased, but we knew there would be no more for this cat woman.

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PARIS (nothing is true and all lies they say) dried Beef

"Come, come closer.

Come and hold me.

smile again

to remember Paris ,

to be my trouble.

Let me spend an afternoon more ... "

song "Paris", La Oreja de Van Gogh

observe and learn before printing pondered over the years I discovered many of their strengths and weaknesses in how much I felt and wanted, odious than it was when I really wanted to hurt, I looked askance and then, I avoided talking. I did not say, nor did it further comment, it was implied that when we meet, that way and in these circumstances, the basic rule would test any friendship between a man and a woman: that there is no friendship.

Avenue hardened my walk, the branches of trees moved in waves, producing the effect of a Van Gogh Impressionist who laughed at my folly. We looked at the rest, agreeing this time, accused of everything we wanted, we were about to enter Paris, with its green walls and garish signs, the cabinet gave the price of a constant schedule, there were four coins and functions. A few steps from the ticket booth decided to pretend that we were curious as a couple, a strategy that would save us the embarrassment of showing newcomers, or poorly named cucufato meddling, the intention was not out of tune, especially when the audience was mostly male. Pulled newly purchased books and I last looked at the street with their secrets, artificial light threshold as we announced that the city sordid was not just outside, the misery of a senile solitude reigned in the muddy seat of a passion not delivered.

- I have already entries

"What a shame, we will look at all. We were ten minutes and we

"No problem, anytime we go. But natural Behave, do not get nervous as well be distracted by the movie.

- Or maybe touching all aggg! if we left we see nonsense.

- Silence, let's go.

stale colors of a roll a thousand times above the shade gave the old sixties crowded movie theater. I walked next to him, following his doubts to locate the right place, looking for empty seats and adjacent right or left, far or near ecran, without taking into account that for this type of film would not have any angle so that deprived us of most unbelievable detail. Once off trying to decipher the plot, wrongly assuming it was, we arrived at the last minute when everything exploded in a happy ending and not for her faithful lover.

- Geez that black and strapped to the chair, hahaha is earned with the orgy.

- If, then, poor guy, the skinny abusive with four kids.

- How boring, and every time they do that?, This is false, one would not be skinny like that, especially since you get paid to film, fake!

- But look, then think.

Despite the squalor in the dialogues, three words at most, I thought I could control everything. Always rationalizing the time. Hey, tell the truth, do something so wrong can incite people?, Look at that old forward, is to hide his hands, ag!. Him, incredulous, said quietly: Bah, but what you tell me you do not feel anything?

"No, nothing.

- It is impossible not to feel anything, there would be someone who does not feel anything with such scenes.

smiled maliciously: "And you feel?", "Doing time" answer.

Overflow obscene pleasure, sensual, corrupt, incited anyone libido deserved more than him that night. Now the screen focuses on the face of an oriental woman caressing the contours of a splendid body, the shape of your mouth I crawled back and desires, I could not watch it again, the temptation was inches from other lips that brushed between words my ears, I decided to look her brown eyes, and kissed him. We tangled suffocated by the heat source at the base of our thighs, and so we set out, or proposed and that he had no access, end the night with the taste of wine on the tongue, our languages, in a room with a house set for lodging.

badly painted in the hallways was recalling May that first hello in person. Began the afternoon in the small apartment, the summer away and I had a ridiculous green sweater, always prevented climate of those times, as treacherous as my last relationship. The host had played a few tunes of Led Zeppelin, a little room preparing cultures come when everyone arrived, I knew I did not deserve to be there was not minimally for coping with intellectual and literary themes on that long table and bright. The image disappears, and I am sitting at his side, many minutes before had greeted him as promised, with our sound way to call two inseparable friends, confidants, irreplaceable together to make fun of the world.

"I can not believe it! "I do not

" What happens next?
- mmm, well, I do not think we can be friends again after this is over I think it's fake and imposed, "but cherish the friendship that is a lie! ...
- Do not say that, yes you can, if at first you can clearly existed.
- No, once you finish this could not keep you as a friend, would be a lie.
"I do not want to lose a friend, do not say!.

conceived the idea of \u200b\u200bsurprising poor ever being better than him, assured him he would outgrow it, I read all the books he I had read in addition to that played at least. The time I found that not only surpass in wisdom, but achieved much more than that, it took my body and my senses to the category of a language that does not exist, making it known to me transferred, beating myself through its unusual way of making you fly to infinity. His imagination was still a wonderful coincidence that any book could ever write, I'd be intrigued if special just as we were when we were the best informants on earth. "Hey, do you think that after this we can return to being the soul mates of all time?" "It's what more desire, "he answered, and I understood, after pondering his words, he could not take that, if so desired, then be back to being friends." Thank you, was what I needed for the end of my story. "

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I changed the station, until my fingers started to sweat, I could not be contained in the poise of course that would come from that situation. was final what he said as he removed his clothes, perhaps his confusion the concealed with the air force to get rid of the pole, was calm while I was afraid to check my hallucination was not so, and of course, my hair was a soothing shade my face hidden. Barely looked up, pretending to search for a station commensurate with the crime scene.

I can not accept, can not you love me. You never believe me not?. But if you're dead, that is, others do not see you but I do. And who told you not see me, know me, know that I exist, but their concerns, their world blind. I woke up singing, the letter said it all, and it was fashionable. That song is awesome. You always say that all that talk about heartbreak. I stopped, I could not pronounce other words, the blood on my shoes and was taking its toll on my feet, viscosity, and the smell originated me nausea the first week. I'm going. No. Of course, that horror, look at my shoes, how to go to my quinceañero.No're fifteen. I know, not mine, is my sister. That. Yes, that, that caressed while dancing. Rabies dried my tongue, my eyes wet. The color was rising to my feet to my face, his blood painted around the room, his poster of Charly, a caricature of anime, and plastic soldier, the only vestige of his innocence mingled with the tumult of leaves. Should burn those letters, but I can not afford the time, I have to be at the meeting of my sister. Do not go. I have to go, you're the best gift she ever gave me anything.

took the sheets, cleaned drops of blood, the door opened on the strength of this simplistic looking young and big guard. I saw a larger group of people. And suddenly I discovered that was not the birthday of my sister, and had spent 3 days and you just dared to come to the rescue of the dead would not let me out.

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Water Crusade Bride of Astarku

remain silent for courtesy, no persuasive insistence that woman, you were forced to hide, with effort, the bitter grimace on your face, you were the fan of that afternoon. However, the look of that little girl of four years did you hold her hand and take the lead role in a church that never before visited.

Entered. Explanation of minutes on the harmony of seventeenth-century carved, exquisitely prepared Baroque altarpieces, the brightness of gold leaf, medieval paintings, and other anonymous versions deeply impressed. Pause for a moment of contemplation chilling, pressing harder on his hand, The Christ of the Good Death, by Juan de Mesa, meat full of incisions, blood and pain in their composition, wounds that were repeated in the pictures above, all your same phrase: "They say that the sins of the world", total, for you too said it when you were like her. "She?" Envy shining in your retina. Small highly intelligent to their questions, I could read and write with minimal difficulty, watched his straight hair and long eyelashes, eyes bright, curious hands, face confident, "all grown up" in his talk well vocalized.

followed the tour, except for a couple of penitents on their knees praying in the banks, there were only three in the impressive grounds, it was cold, the wind came and it was manifested in the shadow of the night, thought "Have I been like this? ". We stopped at Marble object where, assumed, put the holy water, he answered, paused, looked at you and lowered his head, "I know what you want" the girl often does not reach, "You want to see what's on the battery?", I returned a grateful light in their eyes. The soft lifted high, to be impressed and say, "Oh, how strong is my sister, my sister!". His fingers touched the water filled and washed. "Hey, that's not to wash", scolding, "You do so" What did you do? Teaches him how to cross themselves, "In the name of ...", materialism?, The big bang? The curved universe ?, how about you existentialist, Atea inconsistent!. The

came down again, I smiled. Lasted a minute, sixty seconds without guilt, microseconds unballasted mnemonic. Until you feel observed, "Damn, I forgot I was there!". Slow, hating, girabas, leaving aside laughter, your body, and the coup: expression of "Deep ...", you saw, proud, touched, candida (happy?), Face tilted toward his right shoulder, with arms folded, typical pose of maternal tenderness, could perhaps have this capability?, parent paradoxical, the petite ran "Mommy, Mommy, I made the cross, the cross !....", She hugged her.

came out it was dark. Do not say anything. "Church beautiful is not it, back the other Once you visit you now? "blood of your blood, when will they join. Way, avoid looking at her, and she, your mother does not seek harmony in your face, still talking about your half-brother, wedding plans, unable daughter, unhappy children, economy, government, and religion.

What bothers you that much?, Head hurts, the body is not supported, you throw you anywhere, follow the hincón, the pressure at the point between the eyebrows, unbearable burning, ringing, and not anymore. All that said only captures "Chau, I call you, do not forget to visit, say hi to your father." The kiss from the girl, unmoved thou will not relent, no longer shone for you, it was just a composite of cells in the next few seconds would grow and reproduce to die, girl name and with faith. "Chau", did you say, "Read." Way back

multiplied steps anxiety, hunger and thoughts. While continuing to tap, hammering stubbornly in one place, I used to play the temples, forehead, eyebrows, and listened to (can by touch?) That pain was born and came back buzzing after all your circular sadistically be, at that point. You'll think, strangely, looking for the home, began when he watched the Altar of Relics, carved in dark wood, neoclassical style of the late S. XVIII, an altar chests full of velvet, which preserved ancient remains inside a cemetery, or maybe it was when you saw the Ecce Homo of Pedro Mesa, beautiful work, emulating a skin color of porcelain, framing the saddest eyes human history.

Your lips could not restrain recurrent words your brain does not tolerate more within himself, "Appian Way", "Ciriaca graveyard." I no longer knew who was speaking, consistency does not appear anywhere, "Impossible." Do not accept suggestions or grossly ignorant reasoning, "To this point?!" In full adulthood, where cleanliness is compelling myths. "Enough." Crosses, you remember, walked slowly, a taxi driver hurrying you with insults, dark car passed in front of you, and the reflection of the glass gave you the revelation, "as in the book!" This time it was not ash was water.

Your faces painted with lead from the smog, the shadow that covered everything, the screams, the lights, the frightened eyes of waiting on the other side of the street "Alarm !!!", Care, speed unexpectedly, just could you turn, it became clear what the shadow, smoke, and reflectors of that truck off your pain.


-----*-----

Glimmer, announcement that the day was not over, the sun hiding behind the buildings, You turn to look, as if for the first time, does you see, of course, and the listeners: "Are we going to that church?" she said, and not recognize you, turn your face troubled responding: "I've never gone there." "Let us" asked the parent, not wanted, "fear?, No. Contempt for the irrationality that clings to mystical explanations. The girl looked at you fine, accomplice, strange, breathed deeply, took his hand, feeling warm what new is felt in the nerve endings, wanting to scream, free to be you, speaking without speech, street, and led them to the inside. Nunta Asae


.

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Wednesday of odd-numbered day, and I approached the previous browse in the library of my uncle, a lawyer, held between its treasures guarded estate in 1200 copies, and quite apart from its first acquisitions in its early practitioner, the rest was a select print accumulated knowledge. He used to boast that at every opportunity, so it was hard to remember the order of the subjects his description of the cedar and mahogany compartments easily put me in the poetry section.

I held in my hands a heavy book, the gold letters headlined "Confessions of Astarku." The first stanza had a peculiar point, run and carefully worked, real impression of a handwriting, the rest of poems followed the ordinary archaic language of his time. Distracted my concentration powerfully heading to my uncle, the ink ran the space that remained for the title of the poem, thus leaving what was known to her favorite poem, his signature red remind us forever. I found this on only personal brand in two stanzas also referred to the strength of a man suffering that went beyond the battles of life.

I dared, holding the pencil accomplice to seek a letter that I liked and so place a check mark that identifies my good name and leave a trail of newly understood in the world of letters. I looked in every line, word by word pointing my finger stealth, dressed in gerunds, metaphors, hyperbole, and other items I surrendered to the futility, the phrase that would revolutionize my conception of things had to come, What a shame, two hours the same book, and have had no witnesses or evidence any of my efforts culturizarse for cultivation. What will I tell my uncle when I asked if I found something interesting?, Nothing moves me in these old words, I sighed. Tired and boring, yes, very boring, I thought: what could shake my uncle in this book full of corpses old arguments?, I managed to read the poem on page 123, entitled wedlock infertile disaffection sounded

Moored cross a bone without my girlfriend
evoked the hell, the spouses together

claim betrothal unpronounceable
Astarku spider your land,
Astarku bloody crazy by your kisses ...

I was moved without his lover beloved, my yawn uncoordinated my hands, and just put my signature closed the book losing interest in following the poem. I put the "Confessions ..." with the care that has always characterized my uncle demanding. Before retiring from the door I saw the oval recessed shelf item, gorgeous den that would be great material at my disposal during the trip of my uncle, dazzled proud and shut the door locked.

Today, back numb, the door was the only sure my key could open, the task of caring for this treasure forced me to visit at least twice a month, the murmur of the employees working were common when niece came home they never rest, supervised their work to the millimeter. The days before this visit I had very strange dreams in the library, I attributed to the enormous responsibility of being the guardian of my uncle improvised.

I went silent, to seek available through this time to improve my vocabulary obtuse at the large table fit the ten volumes of the first letters that I could lose heavily, the atmosphere off the room watched the matte shades of the leaves, impressed by the exemplary so well preserved I took the letter "A", remembering Astarku.

I found a full page definition, the conscientious point of Astarku and drawing his devilish appearance altered pulse rarely surprised. I finished the text and went stalker to "Confessions", opened it quickly, leaves clutter found in a separate computer, sticking a yellow leaf folded in half, loose, and set to be read. Her spelling was saying in a faint red liquid "Who signs the book engages the Astarku experiences, their worth is you." Signed by A. for two points in a row, the bride. Page 123 I looked and did not find any signature, perhaps had not pressed hard enough the pen that day. At that moment driven I copied a hurry for fear Astarku definition:

" According demonorum monarchia is very powerful in hell, sent there for forty legions of spirits, while in the hierarchy of the fallen angels has the rank of prince of thrones . The ideal time to invoke are the odd-numbered Wednesday 10:00 to 23:00 ... "Swiftly

take the book and prepared to leave, but the forces have left my hands and the book fell, determined not to let I bent down to pick it up and when I saw my signature in red ink excelling in the middle of page 123, totaling six digits as the number of arms that thing was coming incredibly stinking passion to embrace, the terror, I knew there would be eternally revived again and again.